Chasing A Dream

There are so many things in life that we can dream of, chase, hope for or achieve.  Health, wealth, romance, that perfect job, perfect house or car... things that we think will make us happy.

I began my journey to a healthier/more fit me whenever the image I saw in the mirror began to disappoint me, and I was worried about the way my body would feel as I got older.  I mean let's not sugar coat it, we all are going to age.  I knew that unless I changed something about my lifestyle, I wouldn't have a great shot at being healthy once I hit 40 or 50 years of age.

My Dream

Jessica Curry, IFBB Figure Pro

As you probably know, I've been working my tail off to compete in a fitness competition.  My reason for wanting to do this is not to be better than anyone other than myself.  I'm not trying to get masculine and bulky; rather have that athletic look that women who compete in the Figure class have.  The woman pictured here is a coworker of mine, Jessica Curry.  She is also a fitness competitor and IFBB Pro in Women's Figure.  Her look here is what I would hope to have someday.

I remember the first time that I saw Jessica in the gym; she was running sprints on a treadmill and doing squats during her interval breaks.  I was amazed at her physique and really thought, "Wow.  That's awesome.... but I couldn't ever have that."

A few weeks later, a friend of mine showed up at the gym looking fantastic after having a meltdown from being on the wrong diet and disappearing for a while.  I asked her what she had been doing to look so different, and she told me about a gym called Fitt Life.  I signed up there to train with her trainer, Natasha, and was incredibly shocked to see Jessica walk in to the first Saturday class that I attended.  Then a bit later I ran across this video of Jessica and Natasha, and felt even more empowered.

It was at the moment I watched this video that I began to believe that I had the tools to push for the dream that I thought was unreachable.

The Journey

As I've stated, it hasn't been easy.  It seems like every single snag or road block that could possibly come up, has.  The first time I tried to get ready for a show, I was going through a divorce.  This second time, there have been diet issues, training issues, scheduling conflicts, financial limitations... pretty much you name it, and I've experienced it.  I've had my selected shows pushed back multiple times for various reasons, and it gets completely disheartening. I'm just being honest... it does.  That is difficult to admit.

Brother & sister, April 2014

It's interesting to see what happens when you get knocked down.  As someone who hates admitting defeat, I tend to find myself dealing with my emotions of failure within, and I don't share that with others.  This last setback had me all over the map, as I mentioned in a previous blog post.

In those depressing moments in the quiet of my mind, I found that I still had a little umpf.  It wasn't enough to move forward and keep pursuing my goal on my own, but it was enough to reach out to those closest to me for a hand.

I've been blessed to have a wonderful family, and I reached out to my brother.  As a former bodybuilding competitor, he is familiar with the ins and outs, the ups and downs, and difficulties of going for a fitness competition.  Gabe pointed out that if I keep pursuing my goals, I will know when my body is ready for a competition, and that's the moment I should choose a show.

He's right.  My body is exhausted.  I'm just tired... this whole sport is so new to me.  I took a couple of weeks off and re-evaluated the things in my life; the importance of every responsibility that I currently have and those that are being added to my plate.

After making some changes to my thought processes, I found a huge door in front of me with endless possibilities.  I have a breathtakingly wonderful daughter, a great job, wonderful friends and in regards to fitness, this is what I currently look like, even after a couple weeks off...

Progress photo after taking a couple of weeks off

Progress photo

Chase That Dream

So really, what have I lost in terms of reaching for my dream?  Nothing... not a thing.

Instead, it has been a learning and growing experience that only gives me a better idea of how to proceed, a broader base of knowledge and provides me the chance to have the best foot forward mindset when I actually do choose that show and step on stage.

So I'm gonna chase that dream.  Life is full of ups and downs... but winning isn't about being better than someone else; winning is about beating your own mindset every day to become a better you.  What is it that you're after?  What kind of life are you longing for, but have felt unable to achieve it?  The only thing holding you back is you.  Your dream is attainable... just as mine is.

It's time to start chasing that dream.